


for cause we’ll never know

by turnaboutprince



Category: Elfquest
Genre: M/M, anyway this takes place fairly early into their relationship, i cannot believe there were no dart/mender fics on ao3, the title is from the song "strange blood" from a wolfrider's reflection, unacceptable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:14:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21525058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turnaboutprince/pseuds/turnaboutprince
Summary: Mender worries. Dart does his best to keep pace.
Relationships: Dart/Mender (Elfquest)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	for cause we’ll never know

**Author's Note:**

> i used *these star thingies* to indicate sending, as that's something i've seen other eq fanfic writers do

“Something’s bothering you.”

Dart’s fingers made their way idly through Mender’s hair, mussed not from sleep. Mender hummed, smiled at the wall of their treeshaper-made nest.

“Hm?” Dart nosed at the back of Mender’s neck. “Lovemate?” He placed a kiss there, among the rowdy golden curls.

Mender craned his neck till he could meet Dart’s eyes from the corners of his own. Amid its gentleness, Dart’s gaze was still intense as ever. An amused smile tugging at his lips, Mender turned back.

“When did I turn transparent enough to be seen right through?” he wondered, as if to himself. Dart snorted, drawing Mender’s smile wider.

“Don’t worry, dear one,” Dart’s reply was accompanied by another kiss to Mender’s nape, “I’m fairly certain it is to me alone.”

“Is that meant to reassure me?”

The following kiss morphed into a playful bite.

Mender laughed, and Dart couldn't fight back a delighted grin.

Dart’s arms wound around Mender’s waist, and Mender covered Dart’s joined hands with his. Dart hid his face into the back of Mender’s neck, took a deep breath, and closed his eyes.

*You changed the subject,* Dart sent after a moment. Mender smiled through his sigh.

“I attempted to, at least,” he said. He could feel Dart’s lips curl upward against his nape.

*Rather lacklusterly, if you ask me.*

“I don’t remember asking, do I?”

*You’re doing it again.*

Mender blew out a second, long-suffering sigh before turning around in Dart’s arms and locking eyes with him.

“What’s bothering you, lovemate?” Dart tried again.

Mender’s eyes were soft. *I’m truly happy with you,* he sent. Dart’s arms tightened around him.

*And I with you,* he replied, kissing Mender's forehead before continuing: *But that isn’t an answer to my question.*

“I meant it to be one,” Mender said, and for a moment there was something in his voice, his eyes, and the stiffness of his shoulders Dart hadn’t really witnessed before. Something almost like nerves. It was gone as quick as it came, but Dart had caught it with ease and wasn’t sure what to do with it now.

“Your happiness,” he started, slowly, walking himself through it as much as Mender, “with me… bothers you?”

“No,” Mender said. “Yes.”

*Send.*

In sending, there is only truth. It was a cheap trick and Dart knew it, but in the moment he wasn’t of a mind to really care.

*Yes,* Mender repeated the answer Dart didn’t comprehend, *but not in its entirety.*

Dart didn’t say anything. He trusted Mender realized how lost he was. Mender’s threadbare smile told him he did.

*Being happy with you doesn’t bother me,* Mender amended. *Only… the implications of it do.*

“The implications of being happy,” Dart repeated. “With me.” He raised an eyebrow. “Should I be offended? I’m starting to be.”

“No,” Mender said in a rush, quickly kissing Dart’s cheek, his other cheek, the corner of his mouth. “No, I mean- Not with you. Not _just_ with you.”

“Mender, love,” Dart was afraid he wouldn't be able to quell his frustration much longer. “I don’t understand.” He wanted to stay patient, but Mender’s words were making his head hurt. He hadn’t had conversations of this nature in a very long time, and then-

Shushen had always been much more frank than Mender regarding his troubles.

Dart forced himself back to the present. To his beautiful, brilliant, bewildering lovemate, who wasn’t looking into his eyes anymore. Mender’s gaze was directed intently at something doubtless fascinating on Dart’s shoulder.

“The implications of happiness,” Mender said softly. “The _consequences_ of happiness.”

Dart tried to catch Mender’s eyes, but Mender didn’t let him.

“I keep- I keep thinking of Cutter,” Mender said suddenly, with the air of a grand declaration.

“Right,” Dart replied slowly. _Tell me something new,_ he might have said had the tone of their current talk been lighter. As it was, he only waited for Mender to elaborate.

“Of what Ember's told me about how he acted after they were reunited. The glimpses we catch sometimes, when Cutter doesn’t think anyone’s looking, of the way he looks at Leetah, and at Ember and Suntop and Skywise-”

It was like a dam had suddenly broken, and with it, Dart was slowly starting to place the pieces together.

“And I remember you, after- after the battle in Sorrow’s End. After… Shushen. I remember your eyes, I- I still see it on you sometimes. That _look_. And sometimes, I still think of my parents, and Wing and it _hurts_ , and I- I-”

“You’re afraid of losing me,” Dart realized. “Of what it’ll be like after you do.” Mender looked at him helplessly.

“I’m really, _really_ happy with you.” He said it like an admission. He shifted closer to Dart, rested his head against his chest, and closed his eyes.

*High ones,* he sent, somewhere between self-deprecation and genuine distress, *I’ve turned into a stuttering cub!*

“Don’t you blame that one on me,” Dart said in an effort to lighten the air, and counted himself victorious when he felt Mender smile.

*I don’t blame you for anything,* Mender sent earnestly. *I don’t want you to think that. I never could.*

Dart kissed the crown of his head. “Don’t worry. I know.”

They were both silent for a while. Mender tired after his outburst, Dart pondering.

He didn’t know what he could tell Mender. There was nothing he could say to alleviate his lovemate’s fears, not while staying honest with him. How could he tell him not to worry? The possible consequence of happiness _was_ heartbreak. Dart knew that better than most - better than Mender.

As if hearing his thoughts, Mender sent: *I don’t want you to tell me there’s nothing to worry about. We both know better.*

*Then what do you want me to tell you?*

Mender’s sigh tickled Dart’s chest. *Nothing. There’s nothing to tell.*

Mender raised his head and looked Dart in the eyes. “Just be happy with me. Cross the fallen trees to come when we get to them.” He placed his hand on Dart’s cheek.

*Be happy with me,* Mender sent, a familiar reassured smile back on his face, and Dart too smiled to himself. How fast his lovemate regained control - or at least the illusion of it.

Dart wasn’t going to just ignore this new side of Mender he had stumbled upon. These weren’t insecurities he had realized Mender had, and there were many things he wanted desperately to ask him about them. Right now though, he could tell Mender needed this conversation of be over. His pride had been through quite enough tonight.

*Didn’t need to ask.* Dart pulled Mender closer, and Mender melded against him as if there was no other way for them to be.


End file.
